Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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