i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
