My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize