i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
