and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize