he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
