people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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