T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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