Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
