New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
