i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize