Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
