he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
