My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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