She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
