Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
