oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
