my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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