Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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