We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize