you traded sex for a burrito?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
