I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
