My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
