Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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