I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i need to put some appletini on your dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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