I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
