Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
