But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
