he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
