If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
