Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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