I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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