i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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