What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
