And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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