He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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