Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
