Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
