clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
