covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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