i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
