we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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