they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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