You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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