i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
this is an emotional support booty call
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
