paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
