I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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