The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
