woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
