I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
