i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
