I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
