Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
