i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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