well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
