fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
