I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize