i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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