The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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