Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
